Ruminations Upon Making A Tutorial Video

January 29, 2014 Caroleeena PoetryTutorialUncategorizedVideo

Icky with vase

Organize information
Turn on camera
Forget information
Turn off camera
Review
Turn on camera
Stumble over information
Drop hoop
Run out of battery
Replace battery
Talk
Bird starts talking too
Cat knocks over recycling
cans
bat – pat – rat tat tat tat
Bird breaks into song
Badly
Loudly
Stuffy cat snoreszzzz below mic

Bird dances madly in background
Cat hacks up hairball
Bird starts YELLING!
Cat claims the only sweet hooping spot
Bird sneaks off perch
engages in shenanigans
while back is turned
Cat loudly passes excretus in litterbox
stage right
then scratches noisily
in litter
for a very long,
seemingly interminable,
very, very long time…

Elsewhere?

Lurking neighbors
Cars with lights and sounds and gawkers
People coming and going
Forgotten batteries
Forgotten tripod
Forgotten camera
A toilet upstairs flushing with the ferocious fluid fecundity of Niagra Falls
if Niagra Falls was a toilet.

Light — too dark, too light, shadowed light, dappled light, light from the wrong direction
clouds
between me and the Light

CaMerAs BoUnCe dUrInG jUmPs

Focus gets blurry
– inside
– outside
– in the living room
– in the studio
– in the backyard
– at the park
for reasons I don’t understand
almost everywhere
but not everywhere

and/or

Cut off my head
Cut off my feet
The hoop leaves the field of vision
Dropped the hoop
Threw the hoop
The hoop ran away
Hit something with the hoop
Forgot to get the hoop
Said a swear word

Forgot what I was saying
Made an ugly face
Forgot to turn on camera
Interrupted by cat
Ran out of disk space
Battery died
Replacement battery died

Said more swear words

Started to repeat myself
Got tongue-tied
What was I saying?
Did I say that already?
Stuttered
Stumbled
Blanked out

Insert cat

Forgot to turn on airplane mode
A call interrupts
– a text
– an update for, “What the hell is that!?! I don’t even know what that is!”
A string of swearwords!

Leafblower
Lawnmower
A yelled string of swearwords that can’t be heard over the leafblower
over the lawnmower
over both

Battery dies

One response to “Ruminations Upon Making A Tutorial Video”

  • ChrissyLizzie says:

    I really enjoy your tutorials, we watch and play the game of…Where are the kitties? So inspired by your authenticity, being simple but sophisticated, being perfect in your imperfections. Thank you so very much for 30 days of tutorials, I have loved every one of them. Who cares about the lights or anything else? Your heart shines.


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